Texas Healthcare

When karma finds out you get to work in The Bahamas everything else just gets more difficult.  For instance, today I ended up at the shakiest doctor's office in America to get my medical certification.  It was miserable from beginning to end but I'll only share the worst part. 

So the doctor just left and I'm waiting for the nurse to administer a typhoid shot into my arm.  And I'm waiting, and waiting, and waiting.  Over a half-hour later I peek my head out and ask the nurse, "did you guys forget about me?"  She put down her Snickers (fun-size) and looks at the wall where my clipboard was being neglected, "Let's see," she says, "oh yes, yes, I'll be right with you..."  I stand in the doorway for ten more seconds, went back in, and it was fourteen minutes till she came back.  I gotta go back to work!  I know, waiting a long time isn't a big deal.  But, here's where the "fun" begins.  

The tardy nurse takes the syringe, holds it up like nurses do, flicks it, and squirts some in the air...RIGHT ABOVE MY PANTS!  Are you kidding me?!?!?!  And down comes a drizzle of typhoid juice onto my work pants.  Thats gag.  I was disgusted, so I stared at my pants in shock, looked back at her for a quick second, and looked back down.  She didn't even say anything except for "Ok, deep breath, 1, 2, 3..."  What a joke.  Now you know why I don't get shots.  Thanks Texas.

But wait, there's more.  After the shot, she gets her fingers all caught in the band-aid and it folds over itself.  So, by the time she unfolds it she looks like she just completed four Magic Eye puzzles and she says, "Ok, where's the mark now?  Ummmmm here it is (smack)."  Ya right.  Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up with a bruise above my band-aid.  No chance she found it.  Thanks again, Texas.